If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize