I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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