I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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