just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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