This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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