So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
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Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies