Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
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Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
my poor anus
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine