this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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