Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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