hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
