Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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