you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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