yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
