youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
