thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize