If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
