your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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