i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
