I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
