sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How's work?
Spinning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize