she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
