i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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