I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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