A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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