just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
