My friends, they love my intelligence
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
