i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize