i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
