guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize