thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
