He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
