he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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