During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
