Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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