we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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