I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds