He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY