We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"