i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!