Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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