her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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