he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize