u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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