im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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