Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
