Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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