hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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