I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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