how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He better not be in your backpack
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
