thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize