what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize