Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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