My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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