I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize